Kimberly and Usman Break Up, Ending “Toxic” Engagement
During the 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After? Season 7 pre-Tell All finale, splits hit the fan, to to speak.
Some of these couples chose “break” in their make-or-break moments.
One of those couples was Kimberly Menzies and Usman Umar.
From one day to the next, they went from planning out an adoption to a tearful fight full of insults.
As Season 7, Episode 17 began, we saw Kimberly Menzies and Usman Umar enjoy a day in some sort of public park.
They were not alone. Kimberly’s son, Jamal, was with them. And Jamal’s nephew, the one who might become his adopted son, was also with them.
Viewers watched an awkward carousel ride of Kimberly and Usman going around with Mahadi. It is unclear if he had any idea why they were paying so much attention to him.
On camera, Mohammed spoke about how he and his wife, Zainab, had gotten over much of their shock.
Like Usman, they want Mahadi to have a bright future. A formal education could do that — something that Mahadi’s siblings have not received.
But they still have concerns about Mahadi’s cultural upbringing. Kimberly is not Hausa nor Muslim. This is, to them, a problem that they can resolve in time.
Usman expressed his eagerness to get the ball rolling on the adoption.
But Kimberly and Jamal reminded him that the K-1 visa process is a slow one.
Wouldn’t the adoption have to take longer? Especially since Usman seemingly expects Kimberly to be the actual parent.
Jamal was leaving Nigeria earlier than his mother. Before he set off for home, it was time to give Kimberly his opinion.
First and foremost, he really liked Nigeria. Additionally, he felt surprised by how close and “intertwined” Kimberly and Usman were. He got along pretty well with Usman, too.
But Jamal picked up on numerous red flags. The harebrained scheme to adopt Mahadi was, for him, the biggest. Jamal wants what is best for everyone involved, including Mahadi. Is this really it?
Meanwhile, Usman shared his priorities with the confessional camera.
On the one hand, he felt pleasantly surprised by Jamal. In particular, he had imagined that Jamal would not be respectful, but Jamal was very polite.
But Usman also felt like Jamal was too involved in his mother’s love life. That’s odd from a guy who needs his mom to sign off before he can get married.
Remember how everyone seemed happy and at peace, with just a few details to iron out? Well, forget it.
Literally one day later, Kimberly and Usman had a huge fight. It began off camera. Production arrived in time to film more of it.
Usman had apparently been criticizing Kimberly. He gave her grief over the way that she walks, even. And he body-shamed her, claiming that she needed a tummy-tuck. A tearful Kimberly was still processing this when the cameras arrived.
Kimberly all but begged Usman to please have a normal conversation.
That means honest communication. And it would mean Usman getting off of his phone to actively engage with her.
She also accused him of not even sleeping with her this trip. The lack of yammy could really be taking a toll on their engagement.
Usman expressed his extreme displeasure over, well, all of these complaints.
He has, in the past, resented Kimberly’s objections.
When you see yourself as the ultimate gift to women, any complaint sounds like whining. And, in Usman’s case, he clearly felt like Kimberly should just be grateful.
Kimberly has taken multiple extended trips to Africa. This is, what, trip number four? All to see Usman.
She is planning to sponsor him for the K-1 visa. Despite her reluctance, she was open to a second wife. She is now open to an adoption.
But to Usman, these things — including potentially signing up for a lifetime of unplanned motherhood — are minor. He sees himself as the one making the greater sacrifice, since he can’t have a biological child with her.
Usman reiterated, to Kimberly’s face, that being with her is some sort of huge sacrifice.
Part of that being that he won’t have a child with her except by adoption.
But there is clearly more than that. And it unfortunately gets worse from here.
According to Usman, no one else from his region would ever deign to be with her.
That doesn’t sound true, but that is beside the point.
Accuracy is not the issue. Usman is saying this seemingly to be cruel and to paint himself as a martyr for being her fiance.
Kimberly told him that she didn’t know what she was doing there.
This was when Usman snapped, telling her to just pack her bags and go — as in, back to America.
Kimberly left her engagement ring on the table and stormed out. At first, she simply hoped to cool off.
Kimberly chalked up Usman’s cruel statements to stress — but that could never be an excuse.
Meanwhile, he told the camera that he and Kimberly can never truly have peace.
Why? Because their relationship is fundamentally toxic. That … is actually pretty accurate.
Even Kimberly’s departure did not silence Usman, who continued to rant to producers.
He complained about his sacrifices by going through with this adoption (which was his idea).
Also, might we humbly suggest that the question of who is sacrificing more is moot? It’s a relationship, not a contest.
Kimberly returned, but things did not get any better.
She left again, tears running down her face.
Our final shot of her before the Tell All showed her slumped over her own luggage in the hall of the hotel, crying. It was heartbreaking.